Video Game Review - Gal*Gun Returns

Rob Lake reviews Gal*Gun Returns on Nintendo Switch...

I had never heard of Gal*Gun before seeing a trailer for it's apparent 'return'. To me, it looked like an on-the-rails shooter where you shoot at an army of screaming anime school girls. What it is, is a bizarre love story where you shoot an army of screaming anime school girls. Yes, it's terrible, generic and very much your typical Ecchi game, but it does have its charm...

The story of Gal*Gun Returns is just as bizarre as its gameplay. You take on the role of Tenzou Motesugi, a typical unpopular chap who's fairly invisible to the local ladies. This all changes when he meets apprentice cupid and Angel, Patako. This results in Tenzou getting shot with over fifty pheromone arrows, which turns him into some kind of irresistible lust monster. As he becomes the target of every single female's uncontrollable attention, Tenzou is tasked with shooting them with a pheromone gun to fill them with so much excitement that he can make his escape. It's your typical Ecchi style game...what more could you want? 

The story mode is very generic. You're constantly moving from location to location blasting a variety of schoolgirls and teachers as they attempt to catch you. The Sakurazaki Academy is a dull and lifeless environment, that's oozing for some pheromones of its own. As well as attempting to murder everyone with his *cough* "love gun", Tenzou also has to woo his "true love". This is done by choosing one of four girls who you have to woo through a range of uninspired dating minigames and conversation choices. 

As Tenzou goes about his quest of being the most desirable person at the Sakurazaki Academy, you'll see various targets appear on the bodies of the rampant "enemies". Shooting these is known as an 'ecstasy shot' which is the Gal*Gun equivalent of a head-shot. Doing this multiple times allows you to enter Doki-Doki mode which is where the game takes on a more bizarre theme. So Doki-Doki mode gives you a full 3D model of the person you're activated on. You're able to twist and turn this model at will, with the main aim to take various pictures. This then in a bizarre fashion turns the (un)fortunate female into an ecstasy grenade that will knock out all the other targets in her vicinity. 

The girls who you've been able to "beat" via Doki-Doki will also appear within a gallery. Here your ability to examine their character models at your leisure. There's even the option to turn on a fan so their skirts lift a little, and the ability to make then "jiggle". It's random and incredibly pointless, but the option is there...

In-game actions are all performed via the Joy-Cons or other controller methods. It's a simple task of moving the cursor to then hit the ZR button to fire. It's fairly easy to hit those ecstasy shots and the game isn't difficult at all. The use of the Switch's gyroscope would have been a plus and would have added another dynamic to the dull, repetitive gameplay. The on-rails mechanic is well presented on a mechanics level, but it's used in such a dull manner. It feels very much like a trip back to Time Crisis and House of the Dead, with linear paths and the sense of being dragged from room to room. Shooters have evolved so much over the years and Gal*Gun Returns could have appreciated the use of some modern mechanics. Hell, I'd of been happy with branching paths through the school! 

As Switch games go, Gal*Gun Returns looks pretty good. The game runs smoothly in both Handheld and Docked modes. There's enough variation within the characters that you don't see the same girls often. The Sakurazaki Academy however is dull and lifeless and feels much like a sterile lab rather than an Academy. When it comes to sound it's an orgasmic filled nightmare. Arguably if you want to experience this play with headphones, not through a surround system...It's a shame as the cutscenes are fully voiced, and in part are pretty well done in both visual and sound. 

Gal*Gun Returns is a mediocre game at best. It's an on-the-rails shooter that's more a step backwards than forward. It features a cringe-worthy story that's neither interesting nor particularly engaging. That said, the visuals are surprisingly well done and while the audio is awful, during cutscenes it's pretty good. Fans of Gal*Gun will no doubt highly enjoy Gal*Gun Returns, but for everyone else - there's much better out there. 

Rating 4/10

Gal*Gun Returns is out now for Nintendo Switch and can be purchased from the Nintendo eShop by clicking here.

Rob Lake - For more comic book and video game chat why not follow Geek Culture Reviews on Twitter and Facebook @GeekCultureRev